What They Don’t Tell You About Your Twenties

Remember when you were a teenager and you thought that you had it tough. Nobody had been through what you had and every molehill of a problem, felt like a complete mountain. Don’t get me wrong, being a teenager and being filled with emotions, hormones and a whole lot of change can be really tough, I have been through it myself after all. However, your 20’s is a completely different ball game. It’s as though you’re attempting to dig your own grave with a teaspoon, impossible and completely pointless (I joke, I joke!)

My point is when you’re a kid and you imagine what your life would be like and you attempt to map it out, from university to marriage and having children, you completely skip your twenties. It’s almost as though, as children, you crave being an adult, as though it’s more fun than being a child with no responsibilities. My Goodness, we were wrong.

3 & A Half Years Into My 20’s and I Want Out.

I remember the day I turned 20, I mean obviously, it was only just over 3 years ago. I remember feeling as though my life would begin to take shape and the goals and dreams that I’d been working towards would finally start to fall in to place. I’d mentally planned that I wanted to have children at 28 and have an amazing career before then. You know, the usual really. I didn’t realise, nor did anyone tell me, that your 20’s are some of the most difficult years of your life. I thought I’d gone through the majority of my hardship and every possible change under the sun, but I was drastically mistaken.

When you’re a teen, you think that you can just breeze through your 20’s, with your full-time income, legal ID so you can buy booze and have a laugh, but in reality, that’s like 2% of being an adult. Although there’s the good and the really good, there’s also the bad and the really god-damn ugly.

Nobody Has Their Shit Together

The biggest truth of your 20’s is that absolutely no-one has their shit together, and if they seem as though they do, they’re lying! Being in your twenties is honestly like being surrounded by a lot of well-spoken, functioning toddlers. Everyone’s just sort of going with the flow (whatever the flow is) and trying their best to do what they ‘think’ they’re supposed to be doing. In all honesty, does anyone on the planet actually know what they’re doing with themselves?

The second I left university, I had people asking me what was I going to do next, what were my plans for the future and when was I going to get a ‘proper job’. First up, whether you’re working in a Drive Thru or you’re the CEO of a company, that’s still a proper job, don’t let anyone kid you into a certain career path. If you want to work at Starbucks, then do so. If you want to open your own business, then do it. Any job is a proper job, for the record. Don’t allow yourself to feel forced into having your shit together. You’ve got this.

Things I Wish I’d Have Known

– How to get a mortgage.
If you follow me on social, you’ll know I’m attempting to go through this process currently. Although. I have a mortgage broker who’s helping me as much as they can, there are so many phrases and requirements that I just did not expect. Why they don’t teach you about Finance & Mortgages in school, I’ll never truly understand. The process will be different for everyone, whether you’re buying the house outright, through a Help to Buy ISA, or opting for Shared Ownership, there are so many avenues they myself of my family were aware of.

– You’ll grow & change more than ever.
I haven’t physically grown since I was about 12, but there’s been more growth than you can imagine in terms of self-growth. From my experience so far, I’ve undergone a fair amount of self-reflection, I’ve been working on myself and although these changes may be small, they’ve completely changed my perspective on life and how I wish to live it.

– Time Doesn’t Mean Loyalty.
This is something that one of my friends, Allie had told me after some similar issues that she’d been going through. I feel as though this quote fits in with many aspects of my life, as hard as it is to swallow, sometimes, you’re not as important to people or situations as you once thought you where. These certain situations aren’t something that I’m ever going to go into in detail, but I feel as though that quote is powerful enough.

Your Body Will Change More Than Ever.
As a teenager, I was pretty slim, didn’t really have hips or thighs. However, over the past 2 years, my body has completely changed and it’s been VERY difficult for me to learn to deal with. I’ve gone from a size 4 to a size 8-10. The only things that have changed are that I exercise WAY more and that I’ve changed my Anxiety & Depression medication. Although these are positive changes for me, the result of changing medications and generally growing into a woman, the change in my weight has really f*cked with my head and with the world we live in where we’re made to feel like we should look a certain way, it’s tough and I wish I had known all along.

– Love Is About Compromise
The love stories that we see in movies, online and in TV programmes are never how ‘real’ relationships are. Each and every relationship comes with its highs and lows and one of the main difficulties is learning how to compromise with one another so you can live and grow harmoniously together. I’m in a very happy relationship with someone who I can imagine being with for the rest of my life. At 23, I know I’m exceptionally lucky to have someone I’ve been with for 4+ years and have the chance to grow and learn alongside them. I wish I could tell my younger self that I’d find happiness eventually.

– Most People Are In The Same Boat.
As I mentioned earlier, nobody has their shit together. The majority of adults, don’t really know what they’re doing, we’re all just winging it if I’m honest. In the world we live in today, I think it’s impossible to have your shit fully together and know where you’re going in life. Life will hurl curve balls at you constantly and make you doubt yourself, but in the end, it’s all for the greater good. There are no flowers without the rain, as cheesey as it sounds.

So, here’s to being knee-deep in my twenties and trying my best to make my way through it in high spirits. I hope this can supply you with any help you need if you’re an adolescent, or if you’re in the same boat as me, hopefully you can relate! If there’s anything you’d like to add, I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments! 

Until Next Time x 




  1. June 13, 2019 / 7:22 PM

    I think you definitely get so many expectations growing up, I was so eager to be an adult, live in a mansion, get married, have kids and just live the Barbie lifestyle, but no one tells you growing up that being an adult is fricking hard! A great post lovely!

    Lucy | http://www.lucymary.co.uk

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