Well, it’s been a while since I’ve offloaded my worries into a blog post. Usually, I don’t struggle with this and see opening up about your worries and issues as the first step towards dealing with them and getting over them. However, recently I’m finding being open a little difficult and I’ve retired to my old ways of bottling my feelings up and hoping and wishing that they will go away. I’m wanting to break this little habit that I’ve randomly adopted, by writing a little post about it. Surely there is other people that feel like this and can feel completely snowed under by their anxiety. So let’s use this blog post as a little a step forward into showing our anxiety who’s boss.
With the yearly challenge of settling into a new year and having so many things you want to concur and change, you know “New Year, New Me” I sort of find that thought a little overwhelming and although I think it’s good to leap into new hobbies and opportunities, I can’t help but feel overwhelmed by this and the pressure is definitely on to live up to the expectations that I put upon myself. For example, my most recent panic attack was actually caused by me attempting to go to the Gym for the first time ever. I mean, good for me, right? Going the gym and pursuing a healthy and active lifestyle is a brilliant hobby to get into, and one that can have positive impacts on my mental health and stress levels, which is the main reason for me attempting to change my lifestyle.
I find it completely nerve wrecking to jump into new things, so much so I completely stress myself and I end up having to leave in a flood of tears and worry because I don’t think I can do it. The whole thought of a new environment, new people, and new activities really intimidates me if I’m honest. However after the whole ordeal and feeling like a complete failure. I went again, this time accompanied by my boyfriend to show me the ropes and reassure me it was going to be alright. I’ve now no fear to go the gym and work out on my own. Which although may seem like such a minuscule achievement, I’m actually really proud of myself for overcoming my worries and doubts and making the unknown, known.
When struggling with anxiety, it’s so hard to take yourself out of that mind frame, and when you’ve got a clearer head, you sort of look back at it and wonder why you got yourself so worked up. Whilst you’re in that state of anxiety, you become so completely absorbed by it “everyone’s looking at me, everyone thinks I’m pathetic, You are pathetic, you’re a failure” that was pretty much what my mind was telling me the second I walked into the Gym for the first time. If the thought of doing new things scares you, let me reassure you to just go for it. The only thing that will ever hold you back is yourself. Take it in baby steps, like I did and don’t push yourself too far. You do you, and if that means doing a new thing for a mere 5 minutes, then work at the pace.
Doing new things is scary, however, if I can do it, then so can you!