This start to the month has been a difficult one indeed, and we’re only a day in. I have a tendency to get a little over excited for December, I don’t think the child like nature of me counting down the days until Christmas will ever leave me, even if I do turn 19 this month.
However, today I’m wishing that I could turn back time a little bit. When I woke up this morning to go to University, I physically couldn’t get myself out of bed and it wasn’t because I was overly tired. Something in my head was telling me “There’s no way you’re going to Uni today”. I ended up not going in and I’m glad that I didn’t.
I originally thought that I was just having a really bad day, where my mind wasn’t where it wanted to be at all. But I’m actually glad that I decided to stay in bed. It wasn’t long until my mum came into my room with tears poring down her face and I was told the news that my Great Granddad was critically ill in hospital, and that the doctors had told us that the next 24 hours are highly critical and there was a chance that he wasn’t going to pull through.
A huge mass of my childhood memories have something to do with my Great Granddad. From him playing his strange irish folk music in his kitchen to giving me lemonade in a shot glass, as I just thought he’s bought a set of really small glasses for me to drink from. I love that all my memories of my Great Granddad are good ones, ones that I can look back on and be grateful for the time spent together- even if his little 91 year old brain can’t remember any of them.
I’ve been lucky as none of my close family members have died whilst I’ve been fully aware of what death is. So seeing my Great Granddad struggling to breathe in a hospital bed was beyond heartbreaking, especially considering he hates hospitals and has demanded that when his time comes, he wants to die in the comfort of his own home. I’m happy to say that he made it through the night and is looking a lot better, but I’m aware that his time has been cut a lot shorter and I’m going to embrace and treasure anytime he has left.
I’m going to be attempting to do Blogmas this year (if you didn’t get it from the title) I’m going to be aiming to publish a blog post everyday until Christmas, the blog posts will be a mixture of Life, Beauty, Music etc. I hope you enjoy it and hopefully it will makeup for my miserable lack of blog posts in November!