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Monday, 9 September 2013

Not What You Always Expect

This post is going to be completely different from my ever so niche beauty and music blog posts.
I actually thought I would share some recent thoughts about just life in general. 

Earlier this year I experienced things that most people will inevitably experience in their young adult life. The start of 2013 I had heartbreak, disappointment, failure and fading friendships thrown upon my shoulders for me to try and balance and deal with the best I could, and to be honest me trying to cope with everything on my own made each and every situation 100 times more worse than it actually was. First of all, heartbreak is always a Bruce Lee kick to the face, but it can be dealt with.
Even though it seems more appealing to sit in your own little pit of sympathy and feel sorry for yourself and question 'Why me?'. I've learned that as cliche as it sounds "everything happens for a reason" and that one relationship coming to a train wreck and heart wrenching ending doesn't mean that that's it forever. It just means that particular year of your life that you experienced and all the memories that came along with it won't continue. But I've learned that there's plenty more memories to be made (I'm sounding so cringey here) but in order for your life to move on to bigger and better things, things must change and adjust. 

The next part of 2013 was dealing and adjusting to Sixth Form. After doing very well at GCSE and achieving over my target grades in a good handful of my subjects I went into sixth form with a confident and positive mind frame. But no, Sixth Form was completely different than what I had ever expected. The work load was ridiculous, the teachers never helped at all even when I'd confessed that I was struggling. At one point I burst out into tears in the middle of my AS Enlgish Literature class because my teacher was being a downright bitch, saying I was going to fail, never get into a university, never get into my desired job field. Just genuinely stomping her little cankles over everything I was looking forward to. She had given me a D in my coursework and told me I'd be lucky if I got a D in the exam. Once I did my exam I left sixth form all together and had a huge break because I had decided to apply to a college that would help me more and excell in what I was good at. I later received my results,  Media Studies-A  Photography-C  English-...B 
This literally opened my eyes that just because someone doesn't believe in you, you shouldn't admit to failure, I really hope that my teacher thinks "shit" after she made me cry in front of everyone and said I would never even pass and I exceeded a pass and got a fucking B. It probably just sounds like I'm boasting about my unexpected success, but if you'd have seen how upset and unhappy I was at the start of the year than you'd understand my happiness completely. What I'm trying to say is, don't let people walk all over you and try and tell you what you can and can't do because nothing is saying you can't, the only person who can stop you fom doing something is yourself- or the Police..

The next subject of 'fading friendships' is one that I definitely have never really spoken about because its something that really agrovates me because the only people I could possible talk about this with is my Mum but I guess things are different now than they once were. First of all girls get a tad head over heels for boys and just block out their friends for a Boy that they've only known for a few months. I think this is something that most girls do in their adolescence, but now it's something I would never dream of doing. No matter what I will always try somehow to make time for my friends, depending on whether or not I'm working as it seems to be work that gets in the way of my plans. However I feel like whenever I try and make plans they get knocked back or something is more important and they have to 'wash their hair' or some other ridiculous excuse. I defiantly feel like I, the friend that's just there. I will partake in conversation and pass jokes and comments on things that are being spoken about, however it's as though what I say isn't taken in by the rest. I notice that in my friendship group they're all in some sort of pair or trio that they would class as their closest/best friend and I am no-ones. I know it seems for a girl who will be turning 18 in 3 months that none of this should even matter in the slightest, but I do love all my friends and I wish I was closer to them all  because sometimes it's nice to have people to talk to about stuff that don't really matter to anyone else but yourself. But I guess venting all my shit onto the Internet for the time being will just have to do 
There isn't really a particular conclusion to this except you will find friendships and relationships in the must unlikely places at the most unlikely times. The person I consider to be my best friend is someone I've known for a very long time and never thought I would form a relationship with, but even though he's not in my friendship circle he will listen to me babbling on about girl things that he would never understand. 

Anyway I just thought I would share a thought- or 3. 

Thanks to everyone who even just has a quick peep at my blog, just hit the 700 viewers mark and I couldn't be happier, thank you so much! Hope this post doesn't dampen your spirits and prehaps give people who have or who are in similar situation a glimpse of hope (ew)

XxXx
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